The Kevin Jenkins Experience
The Kevin Jenkins Experience is a short story originally posted to 4chan's /tg/ in 2012. Once follow-up chapters were written, it was retroactively numbered as the zeroth chapter of The Deathworlders. Synopsis Part 1 Krrkktnkk A’ktnnzzik’tk, an Rrrrtktktkp'ch security officer on Civilian Trade Station 591 "Outlook on Forever" is broken from his usual customs routines when an unidentified pre-contact being (known to the reader to be a human) attempts to pass through security onto the station. As per station protocols, Krrkktnkk leads the being, introducing himself as Kevin Jenkins, to a private interview room. Immediately, Krrkktnkk is struck by Kevin's apparent strength as he easily carries large packs he believes he himself would not be able to lift. As the interview begins, Kevin tells Krrkktnkk how he was abducted by Corti for experimental purposes and outfitted with the first human model interspecies communication implant. According to interspecies law, species which have not developed faster-than-light travel, including humans, are legally considered non-sapient creating further issues for Kevin. When Kevin begins to talk about the human homeworld, Earth, Krrkktnkk initially thinks that Kevin is joking: Earth is a category 12 "deathworld", a ranking so violent and inhospitable that has long believed to be incapable of producing sapient lifeforms. As such, Kevin is a bureaucratic anomaly with very few rights. As Krrkktnkk begins to scrap the protocols, emergency alarms begin to sound, signifying that the station is under attack by Hunters, carnivorous beings who prefer the meat of sapient beings. Knowing the threat that they can pose, Krrkktnkk prepares the contents of his emergency combat locker, however it soon becomes apparent that he is vastly outmatched, with the Hunters carrying more effective weapons and shielding. As the Hunters close in, Krrkktnkk explains that their last hope may be the Nervejam grenades he left in the locker across the room, leaving Kevin to agilely dodge the Hunters' kinetic pulse fire as he closes the distance. Almost immediately after successfully throwing the grenades to Krrkktnkk, he is shot by a Hunter's pulse gun blast, leaving Krrkktnkk to presume him dead. Krrkktnkk manages to kill some of the Hunters using the grenades, though not enough as the two survivors close in as he awaits his death. Kevin however had survived the shot, a feat considered impossible for most lifeforms, and kills the two Hunters crushing one and beating the other to death withe first's foot, before nearly collapsing from from exhaustion, saving Krrkktnkk Part 2 Several weeks after the attack, Krrkktnkk meets with Kevin and Vedregnenug, a Guvnuragnaguvendrugun lawyer, to discuss the legal status of humanity as a sapient species, however Vedreg is pessimistic since changes to intergalactic treaties are difficult to pass. The discussion soon turns to Kevin's apparent prodigious strength and how he repelled a Hunter attack despite having very little combat training. Kevin mentions that his comparative strength among aliens is surprising since on Earth humans are considered comparatively weak to the various animals. When a curious Vedreg asks about Kevin's simple cross tattoo, however, the conversation shifts to human religion. Kevin speaks at length denouncing religion, proclaiming it a fantasy that the vast majority of humans believe in. No other space-faring race has religion, so Krrkktnkk (whom Kevin has taken to calling "Kirk" for short) and Vedreg are shocked and confused by Kevin's description and conclude that humans must be crazy, leading Vedreg to ask Kevin why he should even be trying to ensure humans are considered sapient, to which Kevin responds that "... if you don’t, you won’t be ready for us." Part 3 Within hours, Kevin, Kirk and Vedreg's conversation is major news across the galaxy, with beings everywhere terrified by the prospect of a race of crazy Deathworlders. In response to the incident however, humans are legally reclassified as sapient (the threshold for sapience now being the development of calculus, rather than FTL) and a large research station, the Observatory is sent to observe Earth. The Observatory is parked in Saturn's orbit and houses Kirk, Kevin and two other human abductees, Charlotte and Jung. During the course of the mission though, the station's crew become engrossed in human culture, picking up human terms, games and pastimes. In the final few paragraphs, Kirk mulls over the his time on the mission stating that humans are not crazy but "tortured geniuses, and that religion is a byproduct of the harsh ecosystem in which humans evolved. It's revealed here that Kevin decided to have his implant removed and returned to Earth, Kirk believing that this was because "there are more challenges down there among his own kind than he would ever find up here, among us." Trivia * In the original version, a Hunter fleet was preparing to destroy Earth with a comet, however in the revised version this was changed to "a vigilante fleet", presumably for continuity reasons * Likewise, text's citation is changed from "— “Kirk” krrkktnkk a'ktnnzzik'tk, Councillor for the Vzk'tk Domain, acceptance speech." to "— “Kirk” krrkktnkk a’ktnnzzik’tk, Memoirs." Links * Transcription of original 4chan post ** Part 1.1 ** Part 1.2 ** Part 2 ** Part 3 * Current Updated Version Category:The Deathworlders Chapters Category:Chapters